Intimate Moments
A friend of mine and very talented author TJ Bennett recently hosted a series of blogs on the topic of kissing and romance on IMHO (In My Humble Opinion). It got me thinking about intimacy in relationships in general, what promotes it, how it develops, and how important it is. Merriam Webster dictionary defines intimate as “the intrinsic essential; belonging to or characterizing ones deepest nature; marked by very close association, contact or familiarity; marked by a warm friendship developed through long association; suggesting informal warmth or privacy, of a very personal or private nature.”
It’s hard to imagine a couple being in love, or staying in love without being intimate, and by that I don’t mean sex. Sex, although generally private, isn’t necessarily intimate. Ask that of any sex-trade worker, one night stand, or person beginning an arranged marriage. I mean finishing each other’s sentences, knowing looks, the sharing of those sweet caresses, tender kisses, cherished dreams, and deep secrets that brings a couple ever closer. Intimacy can be beautiful, and it can also be dangerous. It involves risk and trust. If the trust is misplaced the results can be disastrous. By exposing one’s deepest self, one makes oneself deeply vulnerable.
Intimacy marks the difference between having sex as a physical act, and making love as an emotional bonding experience, but how do couples develop that which takes them from strangers who are attracted to each other, to intimate and loving partners? This is a theme I love to explore in my books. I think intimacy and how it’s achieved is an essential part of any love story, and although it may vary wildly depending on the couple and what is most private and integral to them, it’s always the door, at first open only a crack perhaps, through which love gains hold. It’s been mentioned to me several times that Gabriel and Sarah from Broken Wing, and Jamie and Cat from Highland Rebel are very different characters, so it should come as no surprise that intimacy develops in different ways for them as well.
Physically, intimacy might be expressed by a hand on an arm that sends shivers, a gentle trailing of the fingers across the loved ones shoulder, a caress on the cheek or a touch on the small of the back, and of course by the hug and the kiss. You can have sex without being intimate but can you have a really good kiss without it? It might not be necessary or even desirable with a one night stand; but it’s at the core of most romance- those magic moments when a couple takes one step closer to being us and we, rather than you and I. Gabriel’s only significant interaction with others had been sexual in nature. He had never been touched with tenderness or affection. Many prostitutes have “no kissing clauses” and typically refrain from kissing because they consider it more emotionally intimate than sexual intercourse, although some specialize in giving a “girlfriend experience” that includes cuddling, kissing and other intimate acts (yes I researched prostitution). For Gabriel, sharing that first kiss with Sarah was huge. At his core, because of his history, physical intimacy was where he was most vulnerable. It was an enormous risk to take and one that opened the door to a new relationship He and Sarah stepped through together.
Unlike Gabriel, Jamie is used to expressing affection physically, and that’s as intimate as he wants to get with anyone. He keeps people at a distance through disguise, subterfuge, and acting. Basically he is always wearing some kind of mask and no one can be said to know him intimately. Given his upbringing, profession and acquaintances it’s no surprise. Whereas Gabriel desperately wanted to love and belong, Jamie learned at an early age to be self sufficient and fend for himself. He thinks of love as an unnecessary complication and distraction at best, and a dangerous burden at worst.
Getting intimate physically is not an issue for Jamie at all, it’s emotionally that present difficulties. As long as a lady doesn’t expect the second, he’s happy to give her the first. When he and Catherine first kiss it’s a calculated thing on his part, but in the midst of all that’s happening, and despite what’s going on, for a moment there is something tender and intimate about that kiss that gives them both pause. It sparks a strong physical attraction that starts a slow but inevitable burn, but he’s an attractive, experienced 17th century upper class male, and he’s kissed his share of women. Unlike Gabriel, one kiss is not going to change Jamie’s world.
So how do you forge an intimate connection with a man who’s full of secrets, makes a joke of everything, and always seems to wear a mask? How Catherine disarms Jamie and finds her way into his heart is the love story at the centre of Highland Rebel.
Thank you very much for having me here today. As always I’m happy to answer any questions you might have. The one I have for you is, do you remember your first intimate romantic moment, whether it was holding hands, sharing a secret, or that first kiss? I wish you all luck in the book draw, and hope you will enjoy reading Jamie and Cat’s adventures as much as I enjoyed writing them.
About the author:
Judith James has worked as a legal assistant, trail guide, and counselor. Living in Nova Scotia, her personal journey has taken her to the Arctic and the West Coast. Her writing combines her love of history and adventure with her keen interest in the complexities of human nature and the heart's capacity to heal. For more information about Judith, please visit www.judithjamesauthor.com.
About the book:
Amidst the upheaval of Cromwell's Britain, Jamie Sinclair's wit and military prowess have served him well. Leading a troop in Scotland, he impetuously marries a captured maiden, saving her from a grim fate.
A Highlands heiress to title and fortune, Catherine Drummond is not the woman Jamie believes her to be. When her people effect her rescue, and he cannot annul the marriage, Jamie goes to recapture his hellcat of a new wife...
In a world where family and creed cannot be trusted, where faith fuels intolerance and war, Catherine and Jamie test the bounds of loyalty, friendship, and trust...
drey's thoughts:
Heh. Girl rides off to save her foolish brother in the middle of a battlefield. Girl gets captured by mercenaries. Girl is rescued by the "enemy". Girls is then married to the "enemy". Apparently this is what happens when you don't listen to your menfolk and run around like a hoyden. Not that I think there's anything wrong with running around like a hoyden! Go Catherine! *grin*
Highland Rebel is highly entertaining, and so very romantic... I know, I know. Isn't it supposed to be romantic, you ask? Well. Just because it's a romance novel doesn't mean it's got to be romantic. There are some that are, and some that aren't. Some are scorching hot. Some are light-hearted and warm-fuzzy. Some are romantic. Some are not.
The interplay between Jamie and Catherine is wickedly funny at times, tender at times, and delightfully tantalizing at times. Whether you care for the Highland setting, you should pick this one up if you're a fan of romance genre.
Giveaway!
Thanks to Sourcebooks, TWO lucky ducks will win one copy of Highland Rebel!!
Rules:
-- Contest is open to US and Canada residents, no PO Boxes please!
-- To enter, comment and answer Judith's question: Do you remember your first intimate romantic moment, whether it was holding hands, sharing a secret, or that first kiss?
-- Follow for 1 extra entry.
-- Share for 2 extra entries (let me know what & where, please).
-- Do it all before 6:00 pm CST September 28th. Good luck!
Tour stops:
8/19: Romance Novel tv
8/24: This Book for Free
8/25: A Journey of Books
8/26: Love Romance Passion
8/27: Anna’s Book Blog
8/31: Night Owl Romance
9/1: Ramblings on Romance
9/2: Romance Bookwyrm
9/3: Fresh Fiction
9/4: Morbid Romantic
9/7: Happily Forever After
9/8: Cindy Reads Romance
9/9: Pop Syndicate’s Book Addict
9/10: The Book Faery
9/11: Peeking Between the Pages
9/14: Romance Reader at Heart’s Novel Thoughts Blog
9/16: Starting Fresh
55 comments:
My first romantic moment was holding hands. That's all it was and I thought it was wonderful. I was so young!
I am a follower of your blog.
I would love to be entered in your draw. wandanamgreb(at)gmail(dot)com
Asking if it was okay to sit a little closer to each other on a park bench...
I loved this article - very wise and interesting (and what amazing research!). And I'm sure I would love the book.
I follow.
sdeeth at msn dot com
I remember my first kiss - I was very excited about it but now when I think back, it didn't amount to more than a peck!
pbclark(at)netins(dot)net
I remember my first kiss. It was with a boy I had had a crush on for ages, and he was one of my good friends. We were sitting on the blacktop at school, I leaned in and told him I had a secret to tell him... I kissed him, then ran off, embarassed. Thinking back, it just seems silly, but back then, it was a big deal!
+1 I follow!
Thanks!
Morning Glow
www.glowsnoveladdiction.blogspot.com
ohmorningglow AT aol DOT com
I remember when holding hands was such a big step.
I am a follower.
mce1011 AT aol DOT com
I remember my first real kiss,leaving school my boyfriend plants one on me in front of everyone,I was really embarrassed all the ohh and ahhs..lol
I am a follower
elaing8(at)netscape(dot)net
Married the man who I shared this first intimate romantic moment but the memory is not as it used to be and I honestly can't remember what that happened!
delilah0180(at)yahoo(dot)com
Already follow!
delilah0180(at)yahoo(dot)com
I remember when I was 12 and at the skating rink. I could NOT keep my balance to save my life. So of course I fell right in the middle of the rink and landed square on my behind. I've never really been one to embarrass easily, but with everyone stareing at me, it was a little awkward.
But I remember this guy shyly coming up and asking if I was OK. Of course I said yes, and he helped me stand. We ended up hanging out the whole day, and he never once let go of my hand while we skated....Its sounds like such a small thing now, but at that time, I was in Heaven :)
Well I have such a nice glow reading all these comments.
Wanda and Maureen ,holding hands was the first touch snd what a thrill for me. Mine was a Jamie.
Shiela sitting so close I bet you were touching.That innocence, wonder and excitment was so amazing wasn't it.
Rubynreba it may have been only a peck but you remember, and I bet there are many others you forgot.
Morning glow how cute you took the first kiss instead of waiting for it! You are a kissing bandit
Elaing I bet you loved it though:)and all the other girls were jealous
Etirv I don't know what to say. You married your childhood sweetheart? You're life has been a romance!
Wow Chelsea, Sounds pretty special to me. He came to your rescue, kind of like the knight in shining armor!
I still remember my first kiss. It was with my first serious boyfriend at the end of my driveway on Halloween.
throuthehaze at gmail dot com
OMG...it is so-o-o-o hard to remember that far back. I am +60 after all! LOL...but I guess it would have to be my first kiss.
This book sounds good..please add me to the drawing!
+1 I am a current follower
kkhaas AT bellsouth DOT net
I sure do remember my first very romantic moment and that person is now my hubby.
reneetaylor at sympatico dot ca
i remember my first kiss...it was with a boy i really liked at the time..thanks
flower_child_23(at)hotmail(dot)com
My first intimate moment was holding hands with the child of a family friend. We were little kids and our parents always said that when we grew up we would marry each other.
+1 follower
jen4777[at]hotmail.com
My first kiss was with my (now)husband. We've now been married for almost 18 years.
mmmmmmcoffee(at)gmail(dot)com
I remember my first kiss 30 years ago like it was yesterday. I was at a baseball game at school and he was leaving and he motioned like for me to bend down (I was sitting on the bleachers) like he was going to tell me something and he turned my face and kissed me...that was very special then and hope i never forget it : )
photoquest(at)bellsouth(dot)net
I follow
photoquest(at)bellsouth(dot)net
photoquest2Tour & Giveaway: 157. Highland Rebel by Judith James... drey'slibrary.blogspot.com
less than 5 seconds ago from web
I tweeted:)
photoquest(at)bellsouth(dot)net
My first romantic moment was holding hands. It was exciting. Getting dressed up, going out to a movie and an ice cream parlor (a long time ago). The moment...first young love.
bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
I subscribe via email.
bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
I remember that 1st kiss!
I follow this blog.
I was 11, I think or 12. I was dating my first boyfriend and we use to walk along the country road, hold hands and just talk about everything and anything. That was sweet and romantic.
dorcontest at gmail dot com
I follow.
dorcontest at gmail dot com
Thanks for hosting me Drey, it was great fun, and thank you to everyone for sharing those special moments. There are even a few of you who went on to marry the person you shared that with. So romantic! Love all the stories,holding hands, first dates and first kisses.
All the best
Judith
I remember my first kiss. It was at a dance with a boy named Guy. I thought it was so romantic and was excited to be the first among my friends to kiss a boy!
simplystacieblog at gmail dot com
Sure do! I was far too young to be having romantic moments, but the neighbor boy and I were sitting in a hammock right before I moved from my childhood home, and he bent over and kissed me. I remember it clear as day.
misusedinnocence@aol.com
Don't remember - probably holding hands though.
budletsmom at yahoo dot com
I follow.
budletsmom at yahoo dot com
1st romantic moment: holding hands on the playground with Mark and he gave me a beautiful Valentine Card. I think I was in 4th grade???
I'm a new follower.
mitzihinkey at sbcglobal dot net
I remember having a crush on a boy in grade school and one day he cuddled with me on the playground and I thought it was wonderful.
+1 follower
My first romantic moment was when a boy asked me to "go with him". That's funny! Thanks for this giveaway and please count me in.
chinook92(at)gmail(dot)com
Tweet #1:
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Do you remember your first intimate romantic moment, whether it was holding hands, sharing a secret, or that first kiss?
I do remember and it was a kiss and wow what a kiss it was ..ahhhh the memories
thanks
wadesherry@hotmail dot com
i follow
wadesherry@hotmail dot com
I remember holding my first serious girlfriend's hand
I tweeted about this giveaway
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I posted a link on facebook
I remember my very first kiss, it was when I was 12. I spent the night at a friend's place and downstairs lived a boy that I had a big time crush on. Late at night my friend and I met him in the hallway and there he kissed me. I can't recall his name but I was happy!!!
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I remember my first real boyfriend and the romantic things he used to do. I was 12 and he was 13 and he would leave flowers on my doorstep and balloons tied on the doorknob. He was really sweet.
+1 follower
bjhopper(at)me(dot)com
Blogged
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Yup, definitely still remember, although I think I'd like to forget that one! :)
BethsBookReviewBlog AT gmail DOT com
I'm a follower.
BethsBookReviewBlog AT gmail DOT com
I can't really remember my first intimate romantic moment, it was just to many years ago. Please enter me. Thanks!
ayancey(at)dishmail(dot)net
I am a follower!
ayancey(at)dishmail(dot)net
I sure do remember my first intimate romantic moment - but I'm not telling!
Thanks ~ megalon22{at}yahoo{dot}com
I follow ~ megalon22{at}yahoo{dot}com
Oh, yes, I remember that first kiss which was a long time coming. I was dating one of the school bad boys. Enough said.
Thank you,
Christine
womackcm@sbcglobal.net
I am a follower.
Thank you,
Christine
womackcm@sbcglobal.net
Entry 1
I tweeted about this giveaway http://twitter.com/ossmcalc/status/4482391112
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Christine
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I tweeted about this giveaway http://twitter.com/ossmcalc/status/4482391112
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