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Birthday bash - day 10! Susan Helene Gottfried & Trevor Wolff share some thoughts...

June 19, 2009
birthday bashI love Susan. Not only does she come by to bring my birthday bash to a close, she brings along a friend! And not just any friend--she bring Trevor. Yummilicious (as imagined) dude fresh off the pages of Shapeshifter: The Demo Tapes... mmm...

Susan says:
When I was six, I decided I was going to be an author. When you're six, there's only one sort of author in the world, and that's the best-selling variety. Mid-list, self-published, struggling… Those are concepts for adults. As far as a kid's concerned, any published book is a huge success. They're all best-sellers.

In the simplistic world view of a kid, being an author (and therefore a best-selling author) that also meant one important thing: I'd be rich. Loaded. I'd have power around town; I'd have my assistant get me reservations in the swanky restaurants, the ones that mere mortals had to wait six months for. I'd have a huge mansion, on at least ten acres. No neighbors in sight. A staff to run it all. And gates. Don't forget gates; nothing says power and best-seller like gates.

I'd get free tickets, be in the front row to every rock concert I wanted to go see. My name would open doors.

I'd be Somebody.

Even through college, I used this dream to fuel my passion. I'd cut pictures of mansions for sale out of the back of the New York Times magazine. I was going to be the main breadwinner; I was going to have a house-husband who could do whatever he wanted while I spent my days writing books. At night, we'd go out. A club. An arena. An outdoor ampitheater. At least one concert every night, VIP all the way. I'd be in the thick of it -- and it would be all music-related. Of course.

And my wardrobe! Oh, I'd actually be fashionable. Skinny, of course, and decked out in clothes featured in Vogue.

That was my drive, my motivation.

And then, something happened. Maybe it's that I went and fell in love with a computer geek who made enough money to buy us a nice house, even if it's far from mansion (let alone gated) status. Somewhere in the excitement of this new life, I lost the need to be treated like the rock stars I write about.

One thing I didn't lose, though, is the drive to be a best-selling author. That's not going anywhere so fast.

Nope. What is gone is the whole Be Somebody angle. The desire to have people point at me when I go out in public and whisper in awed tones, "There's that writer! I love her books!"

That hasn't changed. I'd love it if more people loved my books. What writer wouldn't? And sure, it'd probably sell some books if I was picked out of a crowd at a hockey game and given a mention as a local celebrity. Put up on the Jumbotron as I coolly waved and kept talking to the person beside me.

But in truth? I like the idea of being an anonymous face in the crowd. I like not having to worry about paparazzi in our celebrity-obsessed society. I like that no one has to rub it in my face that I'm a lousy dresser. I like not having to worry about stalkers, about the safety of my husband and children. I can stand in line at the grocery and be relieved that I'm not seeing my own face looking back at me from the cover of a tabloid. Yes, it's true: one of my nightmares in life is that someone I went to high school with will sell the skinny on who I was back then…

Hey, if the Tour Manager knew me way back in seventh grade and married me anyway, I couldn't have been all bad, right?

We'll never know. The beauty of being a writer in the world today is that it's a low-key job with a high-profile payout. No one needs to see my face in order to believe in the words inside my book. In fact, maybe it's better if you guys don't see me. That way, you'll never look at my author picture and go, "What is she wearing? If there's ever someone I want to stuff behind a gated home, THAT is the prime example!"

You know, come to think of it, if you guys would buy enough copies of The Demo Tapes so I could afford a stylist, the world would be a better place… I don't need a better home, or seats in a fancy restaurant. Just some clothes. That's not too much to ask for, is it?

Susan, Susan, Susan... When I was six, I wanted to be a fighter pilot. And do the whole Top Gun thing... In my simplistic world, if I didn't like you, I'd just push the trigger. & fly off. Way fast. *grin*

Trevor butts in ('cuz he just can't not butt in):
So, Susan's supposed to be blogging for drey 'cause it's drey's birthday and all. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

Supposed to be sucks.

For those of you who can't figure it out, I'm Trevor Wolff. Susan writes books that I get to star in. You should read them, even if you can only buy one so far. But first, read what I've got to say. Then go buy our book.

I love birthdays. Not that getting older is such a great trip. So far, it's pretty much sucked. Getting sleep on the road is harder, even though now my band, ShapeShifter, has this bus we roam around in. This bus has got bunks, but I think they're too much like coffins so I sleep up front, on the couch under the TV. Or I try to sleep. It's not so easy when you're vibrating, youknowwhatI'mtalkinabout?

Used to be, I could crash anywhere, anytime. Not like Mitchell; he's the king of sleep. If he's the king, that means I can be the prince, but since Trevor Wolff's no prince of anything, that means I can't even try to sleep better. So I make do. I'd rather make out.

And girls. I love girls. Here's one good thing about getting older: the younger girls, the ones without … experience? They don't look as good anymore. Suddenly, I want a woman with curves on her. I want someone who can turn our hour together into something mutual. Who knows that part of the getting is giving, and it's better when we both give and get.

And when we're cool about leaving on time, leftover cake in hand. Trevor knows how you girls like your cake. I'm telling you now, you don't need cake when you've got Trevor, but whatever. Some of you like both. Smart.

Now, as for drey. You see, drey's got a birthday. That's why I'm honing in on Susan's guest post here. 'cause, see what I just said? Trevor Wolff loves himself a girl who's got some experience and some living under her belt. Not to mention something to fucking say.

That's drey.

Know what else is drey? I've taken a peek at those e-mails she and Susan toss back and forth. She's one of them always happy chicks. ALWAYS happy. It's probably a pain in the ass in real life, but I've seen the rest of Susan's e-mail. There's not enough happy people there, or people raving about our book. Count on drey to fix that. She always makes Susan smile, and when Susan smiles, I get to star in really good scenes. Or my new Word of the Minute, or whatever Susan decided to call it. Check it out. I'm digging the comment trail. Maybe if the band tanks, I oughta do comedy.

ANYWAY, Mitchell's Mom and Susan and even Mitchell's big sister, Amy. They like to say that with age comes wisdom. Trevor here doesn't know about that. He just knows that you women get better with age and he likes to like you all the more.

Happy birthday, drey. Come on over for some love, Trevor style. Ever wanted to howl like a Wolff? I'll be glad to show you everything you need to know, and then some.
About Susan:
If you can't tell from the guest posts above, Susan Helene Gottfried is an author. *grin* Her other passion is music. Find Susan online at her website,, and her blog, The Meet and Greet.

One copy of Susan's book is up for grabs, if you live in the USA. To enter, 'fess up: Were you ever in a band? Were you ever a band groupie? Wanted to be in a band? Or be a groupie? =) I've never been in a band. But would've gladly traded my left hand to be a groupie for a-ha. *blush* What can I say--I was young... As always, +1 for followers, +2 for sharing this giveaway. Remember to let me know where & how. This giveaway ends at 6:00pm CST June 26th, so dig up those deep dark secrets now! lol! If you don't want to wait till next Friday to find out if you've won--or if you really don't want to share those secrets--click on the cover to purchase your own copy from Amazon!


Amanda said...

I'd love to be entered to win this. Susan is so funny. And no...I was never in a band (other than playing the clarinet in one in elementary school). And I was never a roadie or groupie but I did get some cool autographs (Mike Ness) and a photo with Lars from Rancid.


KR said...

I was never in a band but I'd still love to be a roadie for the Rolling Stones!!

+1 follower

housemouse88 said...

I've never been in a band but wouldn't mind being a groupie for Nickelback right now. Have a great day. I'm a follower.

house_mouse88 at yahoo dot com

Darlene said...

Don't enter me Drey. Just wanted to say that this as an awesome guest post from Susan and Trevor!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I was in a band for ten minutes. Does that count?


Tell the housemouse that if she likes Chad, she'll TOTALLY dig Trevor.

Again, drey, thanks for hosting me and the bad boy today. Don't be surprised if he drops in, too... I think he's got the hots for you!

Gaby317 said...

Susan is hilarious! I'm a follower of both your blogs.
I've never been in a band or a groupie, but I've always been a reader.

Please count me in

gaby317nyc AT gmail DOT com

clenna said...

This is so funny to look back and remember. My best friend's brother had a band. He was about 20 or 21, we were about 16. He asked us if we wanted to be in the band! We would sing and shake the tamborine. Of course we couldn't sing a note, but we were eye candy but were too naive to even realize that. We thought we were fantastic.

scottsgal said...

Sounds like such a fun read - I've never been in a band but if I could be a groupie or roadie for Kenny Chesney - I'm there!

I'm also a follower and subscriber

msboatgal at

Trevor Wolff said...

I'm in a band. Do I count?

Oh, yeah. Susan wanted me to make note that you real people can buy copies of The Demo Tapes directly from her. That's the only way to get her autograph.

Vanessa said...

What a funny post... and nice to see Trevor popped in for the commments.

No need to enter me in the contest, I just came by to say I have an award for you:

lingeorge said...

I tried really hard to be a lead singer, but I guess the total lack of talent got in the way. My boyfriend/husband, whenever I would sing along with the radio, would say "just hum"! I would have loved to be a groupie, but that never worked either.

I follow

Serena said...

wow, what a great idea for a giveaway. I love these questions.

I was in a band and wrote some songs...I think I was about 11 when we started it...and I did not want to sing, but play keyboard--yes, this was the 80s.

Was I a groupie? No. Could I have been? Possibly...I did meet Sully Erna from Godsmack once before the band was big and had no idea who he was at the time and he and I chatted a long while before his set at an outdoors event. I suppose that would have been my chance.

I do follow your blog, drey, and thanks for friending me on on Facebook. Great to see some blogger faces.

Happy Birthday.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Sully... yum.

donnas said...

I have never been in a band. And I never really wanted to. I was never really a groupie either, I just enjoy listening to what I like or am in the mood for at the time. Ive seen a lot of shows, Ive seen a lot of musicians around but I really dont have it in me to be a groupie.

I am a follower.

Dawn M. said...

Nope, I've never been in a band. With my voice, no one would want me. LOL! Was never a groupie either, however, I did have brief thoughts of how cool it would be to be a roadie. I liked the idea of traveling the country. :0)

librarygrinch at gmail dot com

Nicole said...

I've never been in a band or a groupie. I always thought it would be neat to be an orchestra conductor though. (I know I'm such a nerd.)

I follow.

Kat Bryan said...

No band dreams for me but my brother used to TRY and play the guitar as I TRIED to sing.

I'm a follower.

Lenore Appelhans said...

I love Susan too!!

LadyVampire2u said...

I occasionally play electric guitar for friend's bands. And I do have my own bands and artists I go to concerts for and am a groupie of. I have to support my friends!
On another note, I am a follower of your blog and have posted about your Birthday Bash on my blog here:
Thanks. LadyVampire2u(AT)gmail(DOT)com

Karen H said...

Great post! Never been in a band and never been a groupie. That said, I would love to have been a groupie (or roadie) for Willie Nelson back in the early 80's!


Karen H said...

+1 I'm a follower



To enter, 'fess up: Were you ever in a band? Were you ever a band groupie? Wanted to be in a band? Or be a groupie? =) I've never been in a band.

no, i never wanted to be in a band. wasn't a groupie and did want to be...all that yelling a screaming! uck! i want to hear music at a desent level that i don't develop an acustic trama and with out the screaming! thank you kindly!



Sandra Vaughan

drey's library: Birthday bash - day 10! Susan Helene Gottfried & Trevor Wolff share some thoughts...

spvaughan at yahoo dot com


spvaughan book/birthday bash if about over so if ye want one. go!


spvaughan at yahoo dot com

Anonymous said...

not a band, but groupie would been cool

Unknown said...

I was never in anything beyond marching band in high school. Although I did make it back stage at a few country concerts when I was a teenager. Anybody ever heard of a band called Sawyer Brown? I still have some of their promo stuff stashed away somewhere!

+1 I'm also a follower :)

Thanks for the post, Susan!

Anonymous said...

I am too shy to be in a band or want to be ... never really been a groopie either. I wish I had some musical talent even if too shy to be in a band.


Anonymous said...

I am a follower.


L said...

I'd love to be in a band. I'm learning how to play the guitar now, so who nos, maybe it'll happen on day =D.

I'm a follower.

Esme said...

I never wanted to be in a bad-just wanted to be a go go dancer.

chocolateandcroissants at yahoo dot com

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